Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
