3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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