last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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