Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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