Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
