omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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