just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just want nice things and good sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
