how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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