Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
