i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
