I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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