I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
