Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Boobs are out for the taking
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
