Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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