Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
