I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
