he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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