You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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