Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
