I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
