If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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