i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
