i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
