Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize