If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
