The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
