do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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