Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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