I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i came on her dog
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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