You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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