you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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