Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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