im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
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After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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