so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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