You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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