My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
