I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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