Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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