How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
