I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
