hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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