I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
