can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
