Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
