she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
