watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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