So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
