Have you finally orgasmed yet?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
