dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
