Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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