Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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