Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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