Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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