his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
