They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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