My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
