PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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