At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
