Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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