I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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