from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
