Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
