We're facebook friends in real life
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.