you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.