they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.