i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.