It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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