I love watching others lives come down to our level.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
