You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
