Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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