it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
