Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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