I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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