spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize