How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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