At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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